Planned tension vs Unplanned tension
Pocket knives
I enjoy mine.
I started carrying one in my pocket about 6 years ago. I never realized how much I would use one. Birthday presents needing the packaging cut, a rope cut when securing a post, plants pruned, wires separated, splinters removed. It's become a a regular fixture in my wardrobe. It's cool. I've found that there are others like me who really enjoy carrying a pocket knife, and I have had some very interesting conversations with people about knives, steel, manufacturers, fav's. It's fun. It's also brought me some confidence and comfort.
After experiencing a season of violence against me and my family during a ministry adventure, I decided that I needed to think more seriously about protecting myself and my family. So, part of carrying a pocket knife was a detente between my sensibilities that were prayerfully wrestling with what this might mean. There was a sobriety that came with a pocket knife. A tension that caused me to think and pray differently, all because of a pocket knife...no, but it was certainly a conversation starter in my heart as well.
There are some other times though, that having a pocket knife hasn't been fun; instead, having a pocket knife has brought more unexpected tension.
There have been a few days in the past years that I have somehow forgotten my knife and let it at home, and when I reached for it, it wasn't there. It was odd. I felt like something was missing. Beyond the fact that there actually was something missing, I had gotten used to having the knife in my pocket, and had built a pattern in my life that counted on having a pocket knife to go to as a tool. And that day it wasn't there. What surprised me was that it wasn't just the, "Oh well, it's not there, I'll get it later." No, it was more than that. I had started to develop a part of my pattern, my wardrobe, even my identity alongside carrying a knife. Really?!? That surprised me.
I like carrying a knife, its a cool tool. I like being able to use the knife to help people, and to be able to actually use it. I like to show it off, and talk with people about it. It's fun.
I didn't realize how much I had allowed a pocket knife to influence me. Should I? What does that even mean? How much of my identity have I sunk into this?
There has been another time when I've experienced this tension with my pocket knife. It's when I pull out my pocket knife, and try to cut something, and it won't cut it.
It's dull
There is nothing quite like carrying a pocket knife and not being able to use it--not because I forgot it, no. Because it doesn't work. Because I didn't take care of it. Because I didn't take the time to sharpen it.
Sharpening a knife, as I have had to learn, is more than a steel in the kitchen and some cool chef-like strokes. Actually, that just removes the burrs from the blade, but doesn't really sharpen it. It's steel, and if it is sharpened properly, the act of removing burrs will allow the blade to function well; but, that means that I have taken the time to sharpen it. To sharpen it is more involved.
There is a process that takes time, and precision to sharpen a knife. The right tools are needed, and I need to be careful to not only do it right, but to take the time to do it well. I also need to be careful to not hurt myself, it is a knife. If done well, the knife will function well. And, there is something really gratifying to have a really sharp knife.
And there is something really convicting to pull out a knife and have it be so dull that the person who asked to borrow it gives it back, and goes to look for a plastic butter knife because it will have more promise as a helpful tool than what I just offered.
Carrying a pocket knife without caring for the pocket knife--wanting the prestige without the careful work and effort--speaks volumes.
There is one last tension that I have come across carrying a pocket knife. Not being allowed to carry it.
I was on a ministry adventure and the laws of that region would not allow me to carry the knife. What was I going to do? I read and studied the laws, because a friend who carries one told me that I needed to do my homework. So, because I respected him I looked. I didn't want to. My rebellious side was not on board with this. My inner lawyer was screaming, no way. But, as I read, and prayed...the laws were strict. I wasn't going to be able to carry my pocket knife without risking serious legal consequences.
I didn't carry it. It felt weird. It made me ask questions about my reasons for carrying it. Did I really need it to protect myself? Did it really add something to who I am? Did I really want to invest the time and effort and money to continue this hobby?
In the midst of these tensions I clearly, and quietly began to hear God's voice speaking to me, asking me if I trusted Him? What does it mean that I am created in His image? What does it mean that I am now a new creation in Christ? Do I invest time in my walk with Him like my pocket knife?
I'm sure that God used my unplanned tension to plan some tension for me, to sharpen me. Funny, the Bible does say;
You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another. Proverbs 27: 7
So, I'll leave you with this passage to ponder and pray with me...
In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children? My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.
Hebrews 12:4-11
(All passages are from the Message--www.biblegateway.com)
I enjoy mine.
I started carrying one in my pocket about 6 years ago. I never realized how much I would use one. Birthday presents needing the packaging cut, a rope cut when securing a post, plants pruned, wires separated, splinters removed. It's become a a regular fixture in my wardrobe. It's cool. I've found that there are others like me who really enjoy carrying a pocket knife, and I have had some very interesting conversations with people about knives, steel, manufacturers, fav's. It's fun. It's also brought me some confidence and comfort.
After experiencing a season of violence against me and my family during a ministry adventure, I decided that I needed to think more seriously about protecting myself and my family. So, part of carrying a pocket knife was a detente between my sensibilities that were prayerfully wrestling with what this might mean. There was a sobriety that came with a pocket knife. A tension that caused me to think and pray differently, all because of a pocket knife...no, but it was certainly a conversation starter in my heart as well.
There are some other times though, that having a pocket knife hasn't been fun; instead, having a pocket knife has brought more unexpected tension.
There have been a few days in the past years that I have somehow forgotten my knife and let it at home, and when I reached for it, it wasn't there. It was odd. I felt like something was missing. Beyond the fact that there actually was something missing, I had gotten used to having the knife in my pocket, and had built a pattern in my life that counted on having a pocket knife to go to as a tool. And that day it wasn't there. What surprised me was that it wasn't just the, "Oh well, it's not there, I'll get it later." No, it was more than that. I had started to develop a part of my pattern, my wardrobe, even my identity alongside carrying a knife. Really?!? That surprised me.
I like carrying a knife, its a cool tool. I like being able to use the knife to help people, and to be able to actually use it. I like to show it off, and talk with people about it. It's fun.
I didn't realize how much I had allowed a pocket knife to influence me. Should I? What does that even mean? How much of my identity have I sunk into this?
There has been another time when I've experienced this tension with my pocket knife. It's when I pull out my pocket knife, and try to cut something, and it won't cut it.
It's dull
There is nothing quite like carrying a pocket knife and not being able to use it--not because I forgot it, no. Because it doesn't work. Because I didn't take care of it. Because I didn't take the time to sharpen it.
Sharpening a knife, as I have had to learn, is more than a steel in the kitchen and some cool chef-like strokes. Actually, that just removes the burrs from the blade, but doesn't really sharpen it. It's steel, and if it is sharpened properly, the act of removing burrs will allow the blade to function well; but, that means that I have taken the time to sharpen it. To sharpen it is more involved.
There is a process that takes time, and precision to sharpen a knife. The right tools are needed, and I need to be careful to not only do it right, but to take the time to do it well. I also need to be careful to not hurt myself, it is a knife. If done well, the knife will function well. And, there is something really gratifying to have a really sharp knife.
And there is something really convicting to pull out a knife and have it be so dull that the person who asked to borrow it gives it back, and goes to look for a plastic butter knife because it will have more promise as a helpful tool than what I just offered.
Carrying a pocket knife without caring for the pocket knife--wanting the prestige without the careful work and effort--speaks volumes.
There is one last tension that I have come across carrying a pocket knife. Not being allowed to carry it.
I was on a ministry adventure and the laws of that region would not allow me to carry the knife. What was I going to do? I read and studied the laws, because a friend who carries one told me that I needed to do my homework. So, because I respected him I looked. I didn't want to. My rebellious side was not on board with this. My inner lawyer was screaming, no way. But, as I read, and prayed...the laws were strict. I wasn't going to be able to carry my pocket knife without risking serious legal consequences.
I didn't carry it. It felt weird. It made me ask questions about my reasons for carrying it. Did I really need it to protect myself? Did it really add something to who I am? Did I really want to invest the time and effort and money to continue this hobby?
In the midst of these tensions I clearly, and quietly began to hear God's voice speaking to me, asking me if I trusted Him? What does it mean that I am created in His image? What does it mean that I am now a new creation in Christ? Do I invest time in my walk with Him like my pocket knife?
I'm sure that God used my unplanned tension to plan some tension for me, to sharpen me. Funny, the Bible does say;
You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another. Proverbs 27: 7
So, I'll leave you with this passage to ponder and pray with me...
In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children? My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.
Hebrews 12:4-11
(All passages are from the Message--www.biblegateway.com)
Comments
Post a Comment